Green Poop

We've all had it happen, and it's something that is seldom discussed. Green Poop. It can be quite frightening when you notice it. The first thing that comes to my mind is that somehow my gall bladder produced way to much bile and with an orgasmic blast shot this bile somewhere near the end of my duodenum. This said bile is the death knell for my abused body. I am sure it is slowly eating away my large intestine, causing the beginnings of colon cancer and my inevitable early death. The end is near and its all because I glanced at the damn toilet before I flushed. Oh the humanity, depressing thoughts of my orphaned daughter and aging parents dealing with the loss of their son crash down upon me. Oh yes, the cancer is spreading as you read this, creeping and sending its evil tendrils to the tips of my extremities.

Then, suddenly, you come to the realization that last night, yes, just last night you drank...The Kool-Aid. Yes that famous American confection that contains nothing more than some synthetic carcinogen flavoring and enough food dye to color the Crow River opaque. All those thoughts of liver failure, impending slow creeping death, and weeping loved ones disappear. The sun rises and rays shine down stimulating the chlorophyll in the plants which make the start of the food chain and our continued existence here on beautiful planet Earth.

Now let's take that to the current state of economic affairs. The poop is definitely an off color. Most likely its a sickly shade of pea green mixed with brown, like the rotten algae clumps that rise to the surface of Lake Ripley in the dog days of Summer. There is evidence of a sickness, multiple symptoms actually. Unemployment up, forced anal rape at the pump, stagnating wages, falling standards of living, the list goes on. So is the economy in systemic failure or is it being fed Kool-Aid? The answer is self evident if you look at the fools who feed and control the economy. They and their demonic politician brethren allow a few crooked men of amoral standards to extract most of the wealth from the majority of Americans and create the appearance of sickness. All the while the masses shout, "The poop is green", without ever thinking to stop drinking the Kool-Aid.

Bachmann, Palin, Pawlenty, Obama and his Goldman Sachs advisers, they are all part of the same ilk and the poop remains green no matter which mixes the Kool-Aid. I think it's time for a beer.